Today I’m going to talk about another one of Brene Browns 10 Principals For Engaged Feedback.
Here’s today’s principle:
- I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity
For me as a teacher, this about inspiring my students, which is so easy for me to forget to do. In fact, there are plenty of situations when I’m teaching that this is the MOST important thing that needs to happen, and I still miss it.
Let me give you an example: a student comes in for a private lesson not having done any of their homework from last week. (There’s the challenge.) It would be easy to just focus on what they need to do next time to get their practice time in, but that may not be what the student really needs. It’s possible that what they REALLY need is some inspiration to keep the lessons fun. (Here’s where I can lead them to their growth and opportunity.) One thing I could do to inspire this student would be to watch a video of their favorite drummer or song on YouTube and talk about what we saw afterwards.
Heres another example using my special needs drum line (these are my students who aren’t expected to practice). There are times when they seem to collectively forget their individual parts. (This is the challenge.) This can be frustrating for me, and I usually put my hands on my hips, give them a stern look and repeat their parts in a grumpy fashion. (Here’s where we resolve the challenge.) Instead of being grumpy, if I made a game of everyone in the drumline singing everyone else’s parts, I’m sure this would inspire them much more than me being grumpy. 😉 They would then be reminded of their parts and, knowing what I know about drumlines, they would sound better too!
In these cases there was no dialog about resolving their challenges and how that would lead to growth. But it was all in there–it was just unstated. Most of my students are either typical kids or adults with developmental disabilities, so having a direct conversation like that can sometimes sidetrack us. However, a conversation like that could totally work with typical teens and adults.
So, The examples above are for students. How might this apply to the parent-child relationship? The first example that comes to mind is working with my daughter on doing her own laundry. Once again, I could be grumpy whenever I see her not doing her laundry. Or, what might work better that I inspire her a bit to do laundry.
I could point out that, once she goes off to college, this will help her be independent and better able to take control of her own life. (This idea of “independence” is a big deal for her now as a high school senior going off to college this fall.)
How might this work for a coworker of yours? In this case, let’s assume my coworker is not taking the more mundane tasks associated with their job very seriously. Actually, this is kind of straightforward if I’m in a mentoring relationship with a coworker. In this case, I could point out that showing the ability to take care of even the most mundane tasks will help with the promotion that my coworker is working towards.
If it’s a relationship with a peer or my boss, one thing I could do is point out that, if they take these mundane tasks more seriously, it will spread to other peers of ours as well as folks who work report to us.
These are just a few ways I could live by this particular principle–how could this help you in your life (at work, at home, with friends)?
Thanks for reading, cheers!